The Principle of Perfection

Last week I had my four year olds do some problem-solving exercises. It’s a fun game wherein I give them a challenge (make a square with your bodies!) and close my eyes until they have completed the task. Most they can get on their own but a particular pattern became quite complicated. I asked them to make a pattern of boy boy boy girl and line up in that order. I must admit hearing them work it out amongst themselves (with my eyes closed!) was quite funny and I had to stifle more than a few giggles. It wasn’t working, though, and I had to open my eyes and help them out. Eventually we got it solved and moved on to a different problem: make a backwards circle.

The children told me to open my eyes relatively quickly and I saw that they had made a sort-of circle with some children sitting with their backs facing inwards and some children sitting sideways and others a bit outside. I congratulated them on their achievement but one boy seemed displeased.

“This side isn’t right and this person should move in and this isn’t good,” he said. He was right, of course, but what he was suggesting and asking was beyond the skill level of the group. In other words, it was never going to happen.

“You know Jonathan,” I told him, “it’s just not going to be perfect and we’re going to have to accept that.” He looked at me, a little baffled, then looked around the circle and nodded. And then he did something very, very cool. He stood up and asked “what now?”

Imagine if we could let perfection go this easily, if we could be reminded, with one simple word, that everything does not have to exact to be meaningful and simply move forward. What could we do, how far could we reach, if we weren’t always so hung up on getting it right?

I find the biggest lessons and greatest achievements come not when I am working towards matching a specific goal but when I am open to the experience of the moment and all it has to offer. We may not create a perfect backwards circle but we will build something even more meaningful: a memorable afternoon and the confidence and openness to keep trying.

With love,

Kate